When The World Demands Too Much

When The World Demands Too Much

Posted by Rachel on January 24, 2019 in Faith, Personal,

I woke up to the sound of a knock at my door. My Mom came in to inform me she wasn't feeling well and couldn't prepare breakfast. I nodded and drifted back to sleep. When the time came for me to get ready, I thought about staying at home to take care of my mom but I brushed it away, as guilt seeped through. I can't afford to miss work. I have to finish my on-the-job training as soon as possible. My classmates have already ended theirs and I don’t want to be left behind. 

Being a student trainee has been both a challenge and an adventure although quite possibly an energy drainer too. When I was ready to leave for work, I checked on my mom and noticed that she was suffering. She asked me if I could stay in the morning and work in the afternoon shift instead. I agreed but in the back of my mind, work and expectations were thumping their loud noises of pressure, pulling me away and making me feel guilty for choosing my mom. I stopped on my tracks and realized the amount of importance I have given my work. How did I get here? How did I become so absorbed with the demands of the world that I was willing to choose it over caring for a sick loved one?

It made me think how horrible it can get when we lose track of what's truly important in life. At that moment, if I forget about expectations and looked at things at a bigger picture, it was more important to stay at home, take care of my mom and accompany her if she needs to see the doctor. However, it was hard to believe that the choice I made was okay. Somehow the world kept shouting I wasn't doing the right thing. It kept pulling me to join in the rush and forget about love.

I whispered a prayer,  “Lord, I am going to take care of my mom and I will trust you to take care of the rest.” I trusted God to fight my battles for me. I chose to spend my time on a valuable moment. Eventually, my mom got better and I made her happy. I am not saying work is of no value, but in moments of need when the battle rages between work and love, please consider choosing love. There will always be plenty of work to do in this world, but the people we love won't always be here.

I thank God for giving me this realization. I am not failing life because I chose a single moment to love and care for someone. As Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

My identity doesn't lie in being a student. I am made up of different parts. A beautiful tapestry that God has woven filled with different responsibilities always coupled with a choice. I belong to a larger community not just subject to a small cubicle.

My heart is at peace. At the end of my life, I know I will look back and I may not even remember the piles of work at the office, they may become insignificant to me but the memories of comfort and happiness I gave to others will always leave a mark on my heart. That’s a life worthwhile one that is spent loving with no regrets.

Scripture References﹕

John 12﹕8

Romans 12﹕2

Proverbs 3﹕5-6

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The Book of Revelation: God’s Expression of Care

The Book of Revelation: God’s Expression of Care

Posted by Rachel on January 16, 2019 in Bible,

I remember reading through the book of Revelation for the first time: with all the mysterious symbols, disturbing figures and visions, I hurriedly skimmed to finish it. Ever since then, I have been reluctant in opening it. Whenever the topic at church would be about Revelation, I would slump in my seat, feel bored and daydream of sunshine, flowers, and butterflies. I have also heard of others who can't read this book because it's too scary to be true. We don't want to know what will happen in the last days because it seems too overwhelming to behold. We leave the book untouched but let us remember every Scripture is God-breathed, and they hold equal importance.

This year, our church decided to study the book of Revelation and I wanted a change of heart. I wanted to have the patience to study it. And I have discovered a precious simple truth that I'd want to share with you: We NEED TO READ AND STUDY the Book of Revelation.

This book was written by the Beloved Apostle John when he was exiled on the Island of Patmos. It was originally addressed to the seven churches in Asia but written for us too!

This is the revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John. (Revelation 1∶1)

The purpose of the revelation is to show us the events that must soon take place. Why do we need to know about future events? To solidify our faith in God so when these events take place, we will believe. (John 14∶ 29)

Did you know? We are blessed when we read or listen to this prophecy but most of all we are blessed when we take to heart and obey the words written in it.

Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, for the time is near. (Revelation 1∶3)

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. (Deuteronomy 29∶29)

The central figure of this book is not the events but Jesus. It begins and ends with Him. He is the Alpha and the Omega. Jesus is not only revealing things that must take place, but He is revealing Himself in the spirit-filled pages of this book. It emphasizes Jesus' heavenly ministry; His royal priesthood. Jesus has been with His people throughout history, and He will be with them when the alarming final events take place.

Revelation helps us to be serious of future events, making dependent on the Sovereign Lord. God gives assurance that no matter what the future brings, He is in control.

Biblical prophecies are not meant to scare us, rather they serve as a guide for today and hope for the future. It serves as a light shining in a dark place until the day dawns and the morning star rises in our hearts. (2 Peter 1:19)

We should change our perspective regarding prophecy. God gave us prophecies because He CARES for us. He wants us to be aware and prepared. 

The book of Revelation is God's expression of care for us.

Let us change our perspective with this book. We need it now more than ever. I am not saying this is an easy book to read, but with the help of the Holy Spirit and the community of believers, we can soak our minds in the mysteries and understand them. Let us study the book of Revelation with reverence, sincerity, and gratitude. 

If you are interested in studying this book, my church is doing a 3 month in-depth study, you can find the outline here. Hope Sabbath School also simplifies the lessons in an interactive and fun manner. To inspire you, I compiled a few songs that remind me of this book.

I'm glad the Holy Spirit changed my perspective about Jesus' book of Revelation. I know that no matter what happens someday, Jesus has already won the battle. I won't let my heart be troubled. Instead, I will trust in Jesus and in the Father for they have prepared a place for me, and they will take me there. Same goes for you too! We have a place in Heaven.

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More Than Conquerors

More Than Conquerors

Posted by Rachel on January 13, 2019 in Faith,

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great. Matthew 5∶12

What rewards does our Father have in store for us when we come out victorious on the last day? We talk about the end times and Jesus’ second coming yet there are moments when it feels like He isn’t coming back any sooner. And so we go astray, trying to taste what the world can offer since Jesus is “taking too long”. But take heed lest we lose our faith and become like five foolish virgins, unprepared when Jesus comes.

If we read the Bible as a whole, we see that the time frame between the promises of God and its fulfillment have a huge gap. Even the first coming of Jesus the Messiah took a long time. As Peter says in his 2nd book chapter 3 verse 9, The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Therefore, we should not be weary in doing good, for we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6∶9)

Friends, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. (Romans 8)

To encourage you to press on and keep the faith, here are some of the rewards that await us in Heaven:

1. A new name.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it. (Revelation 2∶17)

It would be awesome to have a new name given by God! I wonder what mine is going to be.  

2. Crown of glory.

And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Peter 5∶4)

Come to think of it, I have never worn a real crown before. I guess my first time will be in Heaven. 

3. Immortal body.

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. (1 Corinthians 15:51-53)

To have an immortal body here on this earth filled with pain isn't very attractive to me. But to think I will have an imperishable body in Heaven fills me with joy because I get to spend eternity with Jesus! 

4. Healing. 

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. (Isaiah 35:5-6)

I have always longed for a straight spine. I wonder how it would feel like when Jesus heals me someday.  

5. A seat with Jesus.

To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. (Revelation 3:21)

I am excited to sit and talk with the saints and with Jesus. 

6. A Home.

They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit. No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands. They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them. Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the LORD. (Isaiah 65᠄21-25)

I think a common misconception about our time in Heaven is that we'll spend our time it flying around and singing. But this verse tells us that God will give us a home and a place to work on all the while enjoying peace and joy.

7. See Jesus.

They will see his face and his name will be on their foreheads. (Revelation 22:4)

Even if I don't get to have all the other rewards, just to see Jesus my Savior is more than enough for me. My greatest goal is to see Jesus face to face.

There are some rewards I may have not mentioned here, read your Bible to find out. Behold Jesus is coming and His reward is with Him; to which we pray, "Come Lord Jesus". What do you look forward most in Heaven?

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When God Feels Far Away

When God Feels Far Away

Posted by Rachel on January 10, 2019 in Faith, Personal,

At some point in our lives, we have experienced feeling that God is far away. And as I am writing this, I am in one of those moments. Recently, God opened my eyes to how I’ve been living my life in sin. I’ve been caught up in a bad habit, and He convicted me of my prideful heart. I was devastated to see the state I was in. I humbly asked for forgiveness and sat there broken at His feet. Still, I am grateful for His compassion. “… the Lord disciplines those He loves…” Hebrews 12:6

I would like to share with you 5 tips on what to do when God feels distant.

1. Don’t rely on your emotions.
It’s so easy to let ourselves get caught up in what we feel, but the Bible says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9  We can’t trust our emotions. Our emotions don’t always tell the truth but God’s Word does. Turn to the Bible for truth.

2. Identify WHY.
Identify what’s keeping you far away from God or why God feels far away. Are there any barriers between your relationship? Are there distractions? Have you sinned? Is there a sin you have not confessed and repented for?
Remember that sin separates us from God. (Isaiah 59:2) But there is hope because “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

3. Believe that this is an opportunity for intimacy with God.
Being in this state of “feeling God is far away” is really heartbreaking. I have cried almost every night praying and asking God to make His presence known. And honestly, it is in these moments I become vulnerable and realize that God is the truest desire of my soul and that He is all I need. These lonely times can be an opportunity for us to cling to Him, to run to Him, even when He seems so far away and yet trusting that He is there.

4. Seek Him daily/consistently.
I would like to suggest that you would set a time in which you can have your moment of prayer, Bible reading, and worship. A precious moment to spend some alone time with God. And stick to it. Even if your emotions tell you otherwise. If we give up spending time with God because we can’t feel Him, we might drift farther away. Talk to Him every minute of the day. Talk to Him about anything. Just talk to Him. Maintain that connection.

5. Hold on to His promises.
God has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) And that He is with us even unto the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20) And keep in mind that nothing can ever separate us from His love. (Romans 8:37-39)

When I was a little girl, I once read a quote that stuck. I can't remember who wrote it but it says something like this. “We are like fish submerged in water. There is never a moment that God is not with us.”

Hang in there, dear friend. Your breakthrough is coming. God will reveal Himself to you. Even in these moments you can’t feel Him, He is there. He is there. Believe it.

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Leaving Perfection Behind

Leaving Perfection Behind

Posted by Rachel on January 08, 2019 in Faith, Personal,

I have always strived for perfection ever since I was a little girl. With my test papers and home works, I wanted them to be perfect. I tried to leave no room for mistakes. Looking back, it's funny how I would get depressed whenever a teacher would scold me, I would play it over and over my head and beat myself up for it. Whenever I said or did the wrong thing, I would go home with a heavy heart and think to myself how could I be such a failure? Sadly, I brought this habit into my adult life. It went from school works to life in general. 

As I overcame my need for perfection in grades, it went on to my need for perfection with my looks and in my relationships with other people (even in my relationship with God!) I wanted perfection in just about EVERYTHING. It is a tremendous struggle for me to accept that I am not perfect and I will never be. 

When I realized this heavy burden, I looked up books and articles to know and understand why I feel this way. One article has helped me to recognize a sin that is hiding in my heart: My desire to be like God (which springs from insecurity). I am insecure in who I am which is why I leave no room for mistakes. I believed that the only way that people would like or love me is if I am perfect. This sucks big time because I beat myself up for past mistakes. I hate conflict; I tend to blame myself whenever something bad happens. 

Sometimes I feel responsible for my friends’ mistakes. I find it hard to say no because I am afraid that people will stop liking me if I don’t conform to their wants and needs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to whisper Galatians 1:10 over my heart!

Sometimes I would lie awake at night and replay the stupid things I have done in my life and my heart wrenches as my brain becomes disappointed. Writing this down makes me realize my desperate need for Jesus. Friends, I am grateful for a God who sees the suffering of my heart. I am in sorrow for how I have shaped my life and for how I have treated myself. 

These days, I am learning to accept that I am weak but God is my strength. I still believe there is hope for me to embrace my humanity. I believe God will take this thorn of insecurity out of my heart and replace it with His love. But even if He doesn't, He is still good. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

I want to open my eyes and see that Christ died for me. His blood is enough to cover the imperfections of my life. I can rest under the shadow of His wings, just being the flawed me because I trust that He is God and I am not. It takes time but I’ll get there.

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To Be Whole

To Be Whole

Posted by Rachel on January 04, 2019 in

One bright Saturday morning, my mom and I had breakfast at a coffee shop. While waiting for our food to arrive, my mind wandered into swirls of thoughts that made me restless and insecure. It kept bringing back mistakes. Mistakes from yesterday, a week ago, 2 years ago, 10 years ago. Mistakes that never seem to end. Mistakes that never seem to heal.

As I grow older, I've noticed that I have been a perfectionist-not in terms of my work but of my attitude. I try to make sure I am the right person for everything and for everyone. This is very exhausting as we all know.

After having breakfast, I turned around to examine the place. A particular quote written on the mirror caught my eye, "The challenge is not to be perfect, it's to be whole." I immediately wrote it on a piece of paper and smiled with feelings of encouragement. Taking it as a simple reminder from God.

When I arrived at church, an overwhelming feeling crashed down on me as I realized the amount of responsibility my church has placed on me. I sat in church feeling empty. Where is God in this moment of frustration?

While having a conversation with a church member, she got annoyed with me for not being clear about what I was saying. I stared at her for almost a minute and quickly ended the conversation.

As one of my friends called me into the room, I walked straight into her direction and a crash was heard. A broken glass. I immediately assumed it was my fault and repeatedly apologized to the owner of the glass bottle. Until now, I'm not sure if it was even my fault.

Having no sense of value, I was quick to think it was my fault. Guilt and shame overcame me and I wanted to go home. What will these people think of me?

Another mistake added to my collection of regrets. My brain will surely play this again and again for days, weeks, months, years, forever. At that moment even if I knew it wasn't true, I felt like everyone was waiting for me to make a mistake. Waiting for me to say something, so they can mock me. I just wanted to hide away. Even now, I want to hide and be silent about this because I don't like people commenting about what I do, but this message is so precious to me and here's why:

During the afternoon of our family Bible reading, the designated chapters to read for the day were Deuteronomy 1-3. I believe that when reading the Bible, God speaks. As my heart became like a stone, these words were trying to win me back to life:

“Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.” Deuteronomy 1:29-31

I have given so much power to my consuming thoughts when in fact, there was no need for me to fear other people's opinion. God goes before me, to fight my battles, to fight my insecurity. He has carried me to reach where I am today. Surely, He'll never leave me alone.  

Sometimes we focus too much on ourselves which causes us distress and disappointment. I constantly dwell on my mistakes as if that's all I ever am; I let it define me. I can try all the tricks and formulas to distract myself, but the only solution is to look at Christ.

"If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God, you'll be at rest." - Corrie Ten Boom

He's the one who deserves to take up space in my mind not anything else. I don't want to be perfect anymore. I want to be whole. I want Jesus to pick up the pieces and fragments of my life and make me into a beautiful tapestry of imperfection. I am imperfect, yet I am still loved and accepted by the One who shaped my heart.

Have you struggled with perfection too? Let me know in the comments.

Scripture Reference꞉
Mark 10꞉18
2 Corinthians 10꞉5
Galatians 1꞉10

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